The Black Hole, AKA My Closet

Well, the day is finally (almost) here. We are leaving this Sunday to go see John at Ft. Jackson. The girls and I are really excited and totally looking forward to this road trip. However, I'm also in full panic mode.

I'm not worried about getting lost - thanks to Google maps and other assorted apps on my phone that will hopefully keep us from straying too far off the beaten path.  Don't laugh, you never know. We are going to South Carolina via West Virginia and North Carolina and I'm sure some of those areas were the inspiration for the film "Deliverance."

I'm not worried about forgetting anything because I've made a blue million lists that I obsessively (or is it compulsively?) check multiple time a day. I already have the girls bags all packed (ok, slightly overpacked) and ready to go.

Anyway - deep breath - the reason for my panic is the fact that I have NOTHING decent to wear. Really, the contents of my closet are absolutely pitiful. I do have 4 pairs of beige shorts, don't ask me why. A few t-shirts, some wife-beaters (in both pink AND white). I have a few summer sundresses. But the dresses can't exactly be worn with my comfy Vans. And as we are going to be traipsing around Columbia and Charleston, SC I can't exactly be wearing the Steve Maddens platforms with the 5 inch heels. They are awesome, but not very practical.

As I looked through the sad contents (or lack thereof) in my closet, I started wondering what happened to all my clothes. Then I realized - oh yeah, I'm a mom. Most of the cute stuff got puked on (or pooped on) and I eventually had to get rid of alot of the clothing I used to wear because it wasn't exactly conducive to the mommy lifestyle. Of course, my children are way past those stages but I guess I've been a little too busy to replace my cute clothes. I will say this - I am proud of myself that I haven't stooped low enough to buy "mom jeans". I can still wear my favorite Levi's - a fact that doesn't help me at the moment because who the hell wears jeans in July in steamy South Carolina? (Or Ohio for that matter.)

Oh well. Maybe I'll have time to swing through Target before we leave.  I could always buy a 5th pair of beige shorts.