Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly About Running


When I started running last year I had no idea where my journey would take me. I had no thoughts (delusions?) about running races – especially of the marathon length. However, soon I found myself hooked. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s probably better for my bank account and non-felon status than some other addictions that people endure. This weekend is the Air Force Half Marathon. In another month, I’m running the Columbus full marathon. Sometimes I still can’t wrap my mind around that.

Anyway, soon after I started running – and let me be frank here – at first it was more fast walking and wheezing – I began to notice changes. Some of them were good. Some of them weren’t so good. Here we go:

1.) Muscle Definition

Whee! Although general everyday movement was a real issue the first few weeks I ran regularly, I was happy about that. I had quads! I had hamstrings! I knew that because of the pain emanating from those areas. Hell, even my obliques hurt. But that means progress. And progress leads to muscle definition and strength. Don’t get me wrong, I will never resemble those bodybuilders who look like they have to rely on someone else to wipe them after a BM, but a little definition is a good thing to have. Especially after popping out two kids.

2.) Weird Tan Lines

Marathon training during the summer months makes for some weird tan lines. And not only from the running shirts and sports bras. I have tan lines from my shorts. And my socks and shoes. My legs are gloriously tan (unhealthy, I know. But the color is nice.) but my feet are whiter than a member of Congress who’s just been told he has to take a pay cut and actually work for a living.

3.) Digestion Issues (AKA Runner’s Trots)

Exercise has a way of “getting things moving,” so to speak. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Unless it happens during a run. Without access to a bathroom other than the one Mother Nature provides alongside of the bike trail. And watch out for poison ivy. Check the leaves, people. Check the leaves.

4.) 5 A.M. Wake-up Calls

I’m in a running group. All of us have different schedules and different responsibilities. Some people work full time. Some don’t. Almost all of us have kids and spouses who need our attention. This means we sometimes have to run before the butt-crack of dawn, especially on long run days or for speedwork. I may have mentioned this before, but I am not a morning person. (Think Linda Blair from the Exorcist.) But I have, multiple times, crawled out of bed sobbing bounded with enthusiasm out the door for trail running (and ranger dodging) in an unopened park at 6A.M.

5.) Chafing

This might be TMI, but boob chafing is the worst. The. Worst. I experienced this during a recent 18 miler. My sports bra did a number on the underside of the ta-tas. Ouch. Aquaphor is my new BFF.

6.) Dietary Changes

Most marathon training plans call for little to no alcohol intake. So like the good little would-be marathoner, I gave up drinking red wine. That little experiment was the longest four days of my life. I’m sure my family felt the same. (Think Linda Blair again.) And please note that this was during summer vacation while the kids and I were home together. All day. Every day.

But I know the body needs the right fuel to work at the optimal level. So during the week, I make every effort to eat healthy. This means whole grains, plenty of protein, plenty of greens, and minimal trips to the DQ. The weekends are a different story. They often include pizza, and usually a trip to my favorite Mexican restaurant. Chimichangas with sour cream and guacamole, anyone? Margaritas? Count me in. Sometimes we end up at a steak place. I love a nice rare steak and a big ol’ baked potato with butter and sour cream and cheese and bacon bits oozing out of it. Get in my belly.

Marathon training has been a series of lows and highs. I often wonder just why I’m doing this and if I’ll be able to make it to the finish line. And I’ve decided that it’s probably a good thing that I’m so damn stubborn. I have a feeling that’s a trait most runners share, regardless of whether they run marathons or not. That trait will no doubt help me when I attempt my first 50K race next year…

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